I also thank her all the time for making my job easy. Our children have to want to be part of our lives. In the beginning was the word. And, pulls out her hair so she has bald spots. If its a social issue, maybe you can see whats going on and determine how to proceed. Always pray for the highest good for all involved. Be kind to yourself. He said he was on meds to deal with the divorce. I dont deserve this is my thought. Now is the time for you to discover yourself again. You get in the car and its dark. And he has been doing online learning mode at home. If not, maybe write her a letter? Sometimes we resist because we think we know best when we really dont. My hope and wish for you is that you have this awakening, apologize to all your loved ones for placing all your expectations on them. And, have patience.lots and lots of it. I get the hormone aspect of it, but we all were teenagers at some point. (Ok, actually it would be devastated, but Im trying to hide that. Things rarely work themselves out if they are swept under the rug. Theres a 2 year relationship here that you have to consider and respect. And thank you for your comment. Try to be as supportive as possible. Sending loads of love and good mamma vibes to you Paula!! My 17 year old son messaged me to tell I hate you. However, he is now shutting down all channel with his father and me. My normally happy teen is icing me out as others have mentioned. Thank you so much DR! Its important to teach them to be flexible, be willing to change course when needed, troubleshoot along the way and handle things with ease and grace. The real work is done within. Acceptance that your son now has his own life to live. I mean if there is no respect for the many years you have been everything for them, how do you actually know they care? You sound like a good kid and Im sorry you have to go through this! These things might have devolved into nagging, I will admit. Its no secret. I was a court appointed special advocate for children & teens for 9 years. Humans do have a spiritual side they need to connect with. Is it my thing? If we didnt have good role models, we have no clue. I have anything and everything that could be considered old people stuff apart from old movies (his), old music (ditto) and anything that could be considered history (he is, of course, an expert on all kinds of stuff I actually lived through, since I am way too boring to be part of or even have any memory of anything that could possibly be considered of any historical interestguess I have to get 9/11 amnesia and completely forget where I was and what I was doing that day, as if any of us ever could). Dont overstep boundaries or over control Its reasonable to worry about And, that sometimes relationships dont work out and thats ok. We need to explain how things are going to change for them and keep them included as things change. Then turning on the gas, electric, internet and getting renters insurance. Take a shower and cry. NOT serving her like she is the Queen of your household. Death to sentiment. Has a possessions charge for marijuana. Faith helps if you have that. She tells me not to look at her, or touch her. Deciding to have a child shouldnt be taken lightly. My heart has never been so broken and he can be so coldI never dreamed a child that use to cry when I left the room could walk away by the time he turned 15 like he never had such a close relationship. I am so broken heart. Let your teen get it all out until they feel they have accepted your apology and can move on from this. Oh, I could have written 95% of this myself. If you cant find the withdrawal process TOGETHER on the website, tell him that you need to make an appointment with the Vice Principal (VP) to find out what you both need to do. But that was all self inflicted. And I am working on identifying what I did wrong what I did, and continue to do, is I put someone else (my son) at the center of my life, which was fine for him when he was younger and actually liked it. HI CoralBlue! Their mental health is the only goal here. And silence for too long just makes for isolation & then you get to a place where you are dying of pain. I cried my eyes out when she told me that. Reward after reward. Depending on how long it takes you to learn your lessons depends on how long you should stay in solitude. A mothers love is unforgiving however, the verbal abuse that my teens display can really start to stretch that bond. She deserves that! You have done a great job raising your son. Many lack the ability to think far ahead and weigh all the consequences of their choices. I tried to provide for him more opportunities and more quality time than I had growing up. Sometimes life feels like a punishment but its just life. The only way to fix this is to put all your needs, your expectations, your conclusions, your judgements and your advice ASIDE. Let them shine and make us proud. If we are trying to teach our teenager that its not all about you we need to lead by example and realize, its not always about us either. It could be because of several things you did years back. ), try and believe that even now, you are her anchor, the person who is safe enough to hate. He would rather go out with his mates than do anything at all with me . They need you more than they know right now, and for you to shut down on them will only be one more thing in life that they feel is working against them. No, so why your brain. You are doing her a disservice by this constant catering. Your money shouldnt be considered his money as much as your parents money shouldnt be considered your money. Teens are so caught up in themselves (because before now, its been all about them). Always remember, you are in control of your thoughts & emotions so you can change anything you want to change. Last night he yelled at me for not cleaning up a wrapper, i was making dinner and because i left the thing on the counter, i get yelled at. Please realize you were not sent here to fix other people. Give them the space to grow. Always, always, always remember, you can try and guilt your child into spending time with you but it will always be a chore for them. Our job is to be supportive and loving. I think its our job to listen but remain strong in our convictions. Then, when he was around 8, I totally lost my mind. This is accumulated from our experiences and memories. Without knowing the situation , my only suggestion would be to have some empathy for the girls for being put in between both you and your wife. They parented us the same way. She came down with an eating disorder at the age of 14. If we do not learn our lesson and move on and up, our suffering will continue. An Open Letter to My Teenage Son on His 18th Birthday Frequency Music / Binaural Beats / Isochronic Tones Go to YouTube and search binaural beats followed by a key word of a struggle you or they are having. Sign up and Get Listed. Leave the bitterness behind and surround yourself with people that lift you up and make you happy. Its your responsibility to stock tampons but its her responsibility to remember to take them to school. I love her to pieces but dont particularly like her right now. When did it become okay to allow such disrespectful behavior. Explain that you respect him and are honoring his request to be treated like an adult and this is what you are doing. This makes me feel like I cant spend time with the rest of the family because when I try, she just leaves the room. No more watching depressing daily News programs. Keep the past in the past because it only exists in your head and keeps you from enjoying today. It just hurts so much to feel my sons rejection. :) The book (and therapist author) that saved my bacon is Untangled by Lisa Damour PhD. So, its helpful to list all the things you are grateful for: 1) Youre alive 2) Your sons alive 3) You know where your son is 4) Your son is safe and with family. tennessee wraith chasers merchandise / thomas Our job as humans is to live our lives, making this world a better place. You just have to let go of the grip you have on him. She texts me when she has boyfriend problems, face times me, pays me compliments and sends me meaningful cards. Work on 1 issue at a time. Promise! Do you want your child visiting you out of obligation or because they cant wait to see you? Playing a musical instrument would be ideal because it would take care of the music part and the hobby/interest part. Its kind of hard to hold out any hope in he face of this. cannot fix my sons depression. I would suggest that you and your son (together) search the schools website for the formal Withdrawal process. Most of all, let them learn their own lessons. Kim, Then when we find ourselves alone, we are LOST and BROKEN! You might want to try and send him cards saying your thinking about him, youre proud of him and list the things that make you proud, youre here if he needs you and you love him. Our teens want to be treated like adults but dont really know how much is involved with being an adult. He was even kind enough to sign his brother and sisters name, and I made sure I thanked all of them and showed my appreciation. That is NOT our job. Its like a death..my worst nightmare all opinions are so welcome, no need to worry, that is normal teenage behaviour. Martin. I dont know why he does not miss me and why he gets upset when I say do you miss me. After a while, my brother believed it. The more we detach emotionally and treat it like a symptom, the more success we may have and the more rational solutions can surface. I finally turned this around in my thoughts. There throw a lot of complaints our way. As Mothers we put our lives on hold way too long for our children. Look at your body right now, its just a heap pile of food you have eaten over your lifetime. Thats how people get stuck. Any help would be appreciated! We are 100% in control of our thoughts and emotions. He wont talk to any of us before mid December. I paid and thought that was alright. Open your eyes and realize that all life is a gift, even yours. They could leave and never talk to you again and theres nothing you can do about it. Trust the creator will take care of your punishment and hand it over to him. You help me make up my mind of not contacting them. These teens want to be treated like adults and they want to know that what they say matters. He would sit and talk to me about his friends and we would do lots together -- swimming, bowling. Not you catering to her every need at the drop of a hat. We are all part of this creation and we should appreciate everything around us. So I swiftly moved out. They have gone down a path that has destroyed relationships and they can no longer control their actions because they are addicted to drugs and alcohol. Refuse to let it get the best of you. But thats ok. Its their lesson. Susan, boy do I know how you feel. It would be a mistake. So to get it out of them will take much work on your part as the parent. I hope I helped! Im hoping the next 4 years goes quickly for you both. Even if he were to drop out of school, still not fatal, so no intervention needed on your part. But I could be nicer about it. Giving suggestions, giving them a shoulder to cry on, only giving advice when we are asked for it, not trying to fix all their problems and loving them for who they are. I am alone also to make all decisions. One year later so much has changed for the better. And we need to take whatever measures needed to make sure they get the message loud and clear. Please tell your boy that humans are not born full of anger and what he is feeling. So I dont. One accident I am involved in a lawsuit. She needs tampons at school and was too nervouse to ask the front office so I drop everythnig to go help her. it DOES get easier. What you suggested is absolutely right. Does it go on for years though? I decided to change careers and finally get my degree in something I LOVE doing. If you are failing at something, its the last thing you want to do, right? Ummm, making friends.scary. 
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