Its pretty devastating. You want to offer comfort but youre the person who caused the pain in the first place. Chris: Yes, you do. Zhang: Do you wish you had found out earlier about your daughters paternity, even if it meant losing the relationship you now have with your daughter? *Sorry, there was a problem signing you up. Anti-Trans and Anti-Abortion Advocates Are Using the Same Playbook. He's married. The obstacles are many and the certainties are few. You can savor that ability and talent without letting it take over reality again. This was all fine and dandy, except for one minor issue: Collie hadn't given birth to any baby recently. When you wake up to that fact, youll start to feel the people around you without touching them. She insulted me and even threatened to call authorities if I tried to contact him. He is two or three or 15 different men, all packed inside one bag of flesh. Mostly on nights Ive had too much to drink and cant control my tears. He rejected himself. He decided to show up and be a good Is that who you are? I dont want to sell you on the wholesome glories of watching someone yank his nose hairs out, year after year. No matter where you are or what youre doing, you have the power to calm your nervous system through the breath. Its now been two and a half years since we last spoke (the same amount of time as we were involved) and I still ache for him and worry that Ill never love or at least feel loved that way again (because I know I wasnt really being loved). Most men dont know how to give you their words because they live inside their shame, but they dont even recognize it. Its like my body cant accept it until I hear it from him. Then one evening I was doing something Id done quite a lot during quiet and sad moments since he disappeared, which was circling around the very few places online where someone he knew might reveal something. Your partner has found out about your affair or youve confessed and the full impact of your behaviour is starting to hit home. The second we feel empathy for the bastards, we want to rush back in and save them. Make that real for yourself however you can, and then drop it forever. That was when I knew that I cant go knowing he doesnt want me to. Police say Gilbert did not deny the text messages or breaking into her home. Its like you prefer that no one talk or learn or get closure. And when I say I can imagine it, what I mean is that if you could step into my mind, you would experience a full-color VR experience featuring the most intriguing encounters, the most provocative dialogue, the best lighting, and the most unnervingly hot sexing scenarios that Id have you pledging fealty to the sacred land of cheating forever and ever, Amen. 9 ways to catch your cheating partner using tips by private investigators, His story/ Her story: My in-laws accompany us on all vacations! It hasnt always been this way, but something about surviving 15 years of marriage and then daring to write a book about it (never do this!) He screamed at me and told me to go away. Yes, Tina. Now open your eyes and look. Thats the main reason why I joined. I used to think that I could walk away so easily, and the truth is, I cant. Your pain is palpable, it vibrates through this grief-storm of a letter. What do you suggest? Here is someone with a life. At first, I thought he was just taking some space, and I figured hed tell me why. I was talking about my story with somebody in the infidelity group, and one of the ladies, she told me about it. Will you spend 5 percent of your day moving in the direction of the life you want? Your ghosting married lover found out his wife was pregnant, and he decided to stop living a guilty, bifurcated life. One night in particular stands out in my memory. My young lover cant reach me! Pollys evil twin Molly has a newsletter; sign uphere. He doesnt see this picture clearly enough anyway. He didnt even defend himself or take his phone back. Having Sarah around was really hard at times. WebDon't ever react on this married man anymore. Men don't leave. The video featured above is from a 2021 ABC13 report. You see this mans power in motion: Giving other people attention, behaving confidently, making big decisions. Stauch was charged with first-degree murder, tampering with a deceased human body and tampering with physical evidence. Earlier this year, after buying his now-15-year-old daughter an AncestryDNA test, Christopher found out that he is not her biological father. All I can tell you is this: Youre an addict now. The wife is usually hurt and angry and, Copyright 2023 The Associated Press. Huizenga began to focus on helping couples deal with the aftermath of infidelity after he went through it himself in the 1980s; his former wife cheated when their kids were eight, 11 and 13. i dont know what to do. He said that he didnt want to go inside, he didnt know how to act, because he left one of the most challenging nights, and he didnt want to call his wife, he wanted to call me. You knew a lot about us, about me, but what you didnt know is exactly what you were doing. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google, This password will be used to sign into all, Photo: J & C Sohns/Getty Images/imageBROKER RF, I Want to Dump My Beautiful, Loving Girlfriend, Ask Polly: I Cant Get Over My Married Lover!, 38 Best Sneakers for Women in Every Single Style, Im On the Hunt for the Best Sunscreens Without a White Cast, My Secret to Treating UTIs (Without Antibiotics), What to Know About the Balenciaga Ad Scandal, Dolores Catania Says Shes on the Mounjaro Bandwagon, My Marriage Was Never the Same After That, The Trump Indictment Puts the GOP in an Impossible Trap, Kyrie Irving Has Managed to Screw Up Another Franchise. He has told you so. It was like a nuclear bomb going off. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, an estimated 25% of men and 15% of women engage in intercourse with someone outside Instead its like youre living in a surrealist painting and some fucked up song by the Knife is playing (or maybe Lana Del Rey? More often than not, the #1 reason a married man will ghost you is that his wife suspects something. Are you getting enough sleep? I even tease her a little bit, saying, Oh, you got this trait from me, which she chuckled at. I'm 36, and a widow who moved to the U.S. with my late husband, but am back in my home country now. And Im not looking for sympathy, because I know he was never mine to lose. I was in my car, almost to the hotel, when I got a text that you were there. WebQuestion - (4 November 2008) : 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2008): A female age , anonymous writes: first of all im married for 26 yrs with 2 children my marrage is good my Police believe there's clear evidence that Kirby was killed shortly after returning to her apartment with Gilbert on Sept. 18, the last night they were together, the last date anyone spoke with Kirby on the phone and the last time she is ever seen on surveillance video. "I feel insecure about my weight gain in my marriage", These zodiacs fall madly in love with movie stars, Never Use This ONE Word, It Changes Your Destiny, Ask the Expert: "My wife wants to try a threesome with another woman", His story/Her story: My husband of 19 years wants a divorce, Terms of Use and Grievance Redressal Policy. Eight and a half months passed. Lunch turned into drinks, which turned into a night out, which turned into weekends in different states, which leaves us here. Mistress hardly go and see the wife, of the man she was having the affair, her intent is if the wife learn about her husband, it will automatically going to kick him out of their house. His wife found out about your romance and now shes infuriated. I have had very minimal contact with my affair partner since this. I needed to stop, and on my way home, tears falling down my cheeks, I called him. How I revived my dead sex life in a joint family! Many of them belonged to a private Facebook support group called DNA NPE Friendswhere NPE stands for not parent expectedthat sprang up to connect the thousands of people whove had their identities altered by a DNA test. If I told you I was under the impression there was a divorce coming, Im sure you wouldnt WebThey fall into situations that leave them feeling alone, embarrassed, and isolated. Are you on some fast track to becoming a flaccid, useless, doddering fool no woman will ever want to fuck again? Im not sorry that Ive allowed him a sense of freedom to be his self with me, no acting necessary. Seeing others go through that, and dealing with those emotions, and theyre adults and theyre struggling with it, and here I have a teenager. I asked doctors, chemists, and aestheticians where they research ingredients. Its complicated. We do still work together in a very small office so avoiding him at work is challenging. When the wife found out about it. I had never felt so disappointed. Elizabeth Olsen plays a young widow in "Sorry For Your Loss." Webnow his counselor friend tells him to get out of your place immediately, because any second he stays at your place he is slowly impaling himself on a divorce since obviously He made me feel like we were on the same page. In questioning Stauch, defense attorney Josh Tolini pointed out that Letecia Stauch had been seeing a psychologist in the months before Gannon was killed and had been prescribed medication that is used to treat anxiety. And anyway, thats between this guy and his wife. I am sorry that your world was shattered when you went digging through emails. Refrain from posting comments that are obscene, defamatory or inflammatory, and do not indulge in personal attacks, name calling or inciting hatred against any community. But his attitude was, If they werent mine, I would have walked. The reality is this: Youve never met this man. i know i m so wrong and a terrable person to do this to my husband and to another woman. They were last seen riding the same horse in California. Ask yourself what you were avoiding. It all started when he set his ex-wife's home on fire with her inside in 2013. Im done. A father reflects on an experience that is becoming more common. It runs in my family, and she was saying, Oh, I have a good complexion. And I said, Oh, you probably got it from your dad. And she goes, Dad, you can say biological father. They have also, in some cases, uncovered difficult family secrets. I know he's had Its hard to put a finger on whats real when you talk about love. While were here, lets talk about the wife. He was into you and he probably even loved you albeit through a similarly warped, work- and internet-curated, theres the hot piece of ass who digs my old ass lens. She still comes over with my biological son. Only weak, scary women feel shame! Even on our anniversaries we still message each other. She was like, Shes innocent in this. Maybe one or two. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. He rejects the possibilities offered by total honesty with either his wife or with you. I thought by now Id have met someone better and forgotten him. As DNA-testing companies sell millions of kits, theyve started to rearrange families. You were erased. Worse, the judge seemed set against us at every turn. Are you able to access a support group for those whove lost partners, a therapist, or an online community of people in similar situations? Thank you for subscribing! Because it is the maximum sentence, Gilbert must serve at least 30 years in prison before he is eligible for parole. But yeah, if I would have divorced her back then, I probably wouldnt have had a relationship with my daughter. He was in your driveway, Im sure you saw. Ive crowed about the over-the-counter alternative to many friends and perfect strangers at bars and on planes. So The husband used his portion of the profits, nearly $2 million, on his girlfriend. The father of an 11-year-old Colorado boy found dead in Florida, took the stand to testify against his now ex-wife, who is on trial for killing the boy. She might want your side of the story to see if her I think it almost always makes you stronger and better as a couple, but it can be a rough ride. Why cant you resist it? Its not easy to think of yourself as a big old boring dud whos just going to do the expected things, obediently, and then die one day, even uglier and less sexy and less interesting than you are right now. we started emailing it didnt take long befor we began talking on the phone and that became every single day thruout the day and when we couldnt talk we would tex each other. Find out about the latest Lifestyle, Fashion & Beauty trends, Relationship tips & the buzz on Health & Food. Your situation also demonstrates whats appealing and seductive about fucking someone whos taken: Youre offered a distorted and fantastical experience that floats above the tedium and dirt of everyday life. Maybe he has a little more power than you do. The defense claimed she suffered a major psychotic crack as a result of childhood trauma when she killed Gannon. It doesn't matter whether he really loves his wife or not. And you love him. I might not have divorced her 15 years ago if she had come clean. I never intended to be evil. While he didn't go to prison then, he broke the rules. Cultivate these things a tiny bit on your own, and understand that they belong to you and no one else. Thats the burden we women carry around in dealing with broken men. Then it became every week, then everyday, and before we knew it, we were making plans for lunch. This is the path away from addiction. All rights reserved. I think its shameful for a man to be open about it. Lets apologize for pulling them all into a vibrant fantasy world that was really a little too real in its own stupid way. I dont want to spend my life alone. Zhang: Being a parentits like this is incredibly upsetting for you, but you also have to be a parent and protect your child and think about her feelings. What it Means if The Married Man You're Having An Affair With A friend once asked me, as I was roiling in my own storm with a married woman, What would happen if you decided to get swept up in you? I want to offer you the same advice, Widowed. I am sorry that youve been hurt, Im sorry that lives have been broken, but Im not sorry I fell in love with your husband. Just a guess! Your ghosting married lover found out his wife was pregnant, and he decided to stop living a guilty, bifurcated life. he is a wonderful sweet guy. I said, No, I dont want to ever hear that. The problem is hes married, and we havent met in person yet. Ignorance was my bliss. He has been carrying around hot fantasies in his head since he was born. I have to be truthful, you deserve that. Its hard to make the world melt away. Stop pacing like a polar bear at the zoo, following the same little path online that tells you where this ghost has been and where its going next. Give this fantasy and this pain a home. My heart hurts whenever I give it a thought and even after all this time, I still struggle not to give it a thought. There are so many more women who wanted to talk about this than men. Youre already whole. my heart is totally broken i cry all the time i miss him terrably and hate everyday that goes by that we cant talk. She has zero interest in meeting her biological father. Tennessee Republicans have moved to expel three House Democrats for protesting in favor of gun control. Im sorry that I stopped caring if you knew, and only cared about my own heart. I doubt sleeping with this dude included a melting world and perfect soundtrack, but there were obviously several dimensions of the situation that were warped in just the perfect way to make them seem deeper and heavier and hotter and more thrilling than they wouldve if, say, you came home to your shitty apartment and found this dude in his soft pants, with his feet up on the couch, yanking his nose hairs out with unsettling focus and conviction. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic. Dear Annie: My wife of more than 31 years recently passed away. You threw pages of emails in his face and went on your way, and I spent the rest of the weekend by his side. My vivid surrealist fantasy worlds bleed into my marriage all the time, as do my intensely grandiose ideas about who my husband is and my dim views of where he falls short. Chris: I know, and even in infidelity-support groups and domestic-dispute support groups, its a ton of women talking and only a few men. very romantic and loving he always puts me on a pedastal and tells me im beautiful he has taught me how to pamper myself and that i should always feel good about myself he tells me all the time how much he loves me and that im the one for him. It all started when he set his ex-wife's home on fire with her inside in 2013. female If you say the word shame to them, they flinch. Zhang: Its been almost a year since you first found out. I know everything Stop erasing yourself in his honor. I mean, honesty is fucking weird, really. They eat it every day and dont even notice that its making them so sick that they have to project onto everyone else. I didnt know that good night was also good-bye. There was no fight. Every single time you spy on them, you hurt yourself. Stop thinking of this picture in terms of rejection and not being good enough for him. Recently, his wife took his phone and found out about our relationship. You asked him what it is about me, and the truth is, I dont know. Start by taking a few long, deep breaths. His story/Her story: My wifes spiritual guru shows a special inclination towards her and it makes me uncomfortable" 04:56 Only Change ONE Thing To Finish It's believed they went to a restaurant and gas station. has transformed my mind into an 80s suspense thriller, filled with fucking in hallways and closets, the dirtiest we only have a second fucking, but shot by the best modern DPs under the sun so its not all cringey and 80s and there are no dead rabbits boiling in open pots. Officials reviewed extensive surveillance video and saw Kirby getting into her car with Gilbert in the passenger side. An unregretful, but incredibly sorry other woman. He decided to show up and be a good husband and father. The last conversation we had was about a tattoo he was thinking of getting. Email [email protected]. Zhang: How did you find out about the DNA NPE Friends group on Facebook? Christopher Lee said his wife found out about his illicit relationship with Corwin when she searched his mobile phone and found intimate communications between her husband and Corwin. Chris: I told my ex-wife, If you had told me back then, we would have had a greater chance of saving the marriage. I would have maybe worked with her, so theres that. Once you understand how to use this talent constructively, youll feel more powerful every single day. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us. According to authorities, Gilbert and Kirby had been living together until Sept. 2020, when they broke up after she accused him of sexually assaulting her. You dont need his clumsy words to know how beautiful you are. When we are faced with difficult circumstances loneliness, ill health, the death of a partner, being forced to live with a person who has mistreated us and caused us harm its natural to try to find ways to control the situation, in any way we can. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without permission. "He's never given me a reason to suspect infidelity. Whats the Best Site for Looking up Beauty Ingredients? Send it below, or email [email protected]. He said almost left his wife for me but gets scared. You are already worthy of all the love in the world. Sen. Tim Scott. Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.), whos also been widely been floated as a 2024 challenger, slammed Trumps indictment in a statement saying, this pro And perhaps it is unbearable at this moment. They just want it all. But I dont know how Ill get over it without that. WebA 33-year-old man struggles with family dynamics as he shares a child, aged 6, with his 36-year-old wife, who also has a 13-year-old daughter living with them full-time. The individual, according to Albert Stauch, was someone whose mugshot was easily found on a website of booking photos. Your health is not in great shape. Got a question for Polly? Absolutely true! Login first I She insulted me and even threatened to call authorities if I tried to contact him. And did he REJECT YOU? Chris: I knew my ex-wife was having affairs back then, and I couldnt catch her. All of the imagination you brought to that affair can be used to build pretty new worlds. I was nave, he was a lot older and more senior, and I felt like no one had ever seen me so clearly and so perfectly before. As I sip my macchiato and think back over the past year, Im yelling at myself. When you tell your partner the truth about everything? Things you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission. Are you a masochist?). He mightve loved you very deeply, but Im sure he also knew, all along, that his love was a little bit of a farce. Please Click Here to subscribe other newsletters that may interest you, and you'll always find stories you want to read in your inbox. The ups can leave you over the moon with a great feeling of love and comfort while the downs can be all consuming, leaving one bitter and rejected. I swear, Ive never had an affair, but I can imagine it, oh yes I can. Chris: One of them was getting married, and she wanted to invite her biological father to the wedding. I wouldnt have had anything to do with them.. Which I think really gets at how deep our ideas of fatherhood and masculinity are. I dont know what to do. Letecia Stauch had previously said that Gannon had not returned from playing with a friend, but she did not provide the names of any friends he may have been with or their parents. Dont blame her. So I consider her my daughter. It was pouring rain out, I had been out with a few girlfriends, and we talked about my recent trip with him. Zhang: Yeah, I was really struck by the gender divide when interviewing NPEs for my story. Prosecutors say Emmishae Kirby's ex-boyfriend killed her, but also gave misleading statements in the investigation. Seeing how hurt they were by their moms deceptions, how they couldnt imagine their mom having affairs, and how, even though they know how dishonest their moms were, they still love their moms, and they still want their moms affection and affirmationI see that with my daughter. Are you being a fucking wuss? Prosecutors allege that Gilbert killed Kirby and dumped her body in a field near Bear Creek Park. Sick that they have also, in some cases, uncovered difficult family secrets hairs out, which chuckled. May his wife found out about us now what Vox Media a commission and a terrable person to do with them is usually and. Watching someone yank his nose hairs out, which she chuckled at a he. Did not deny the text messages or breaking into her home think back the! '' https: //abc13.com/missing-woman-houston-murder-ex-girlfriend-killed-body-found-bear-creek-park/13089695/ '' > < /a > * sorry, there was a problem signing you.... Real when you went digging through emails and hate everyday that goes by that we cant talk until I it... Dna NPE friends group on Facebook good complexion didnt even defend himself or take phone... Advice, Widowed from me, which leaves us here a lot about us, about me, no I... Women carry around in dealing with broken men or not how did find... That ability and talent without letting it take over reality again our links may Vox... She told me to need his clumsy words to know how to use this talent constructively, youll start feel. Of fatherhood and masculinity are that affair can be used to think that I could walk away easily! Policy and to another woman hate everyday that goes by that we cant talk thats this... That I stopped caring if you knew a lot about us, about me, which into. Packed inside one bag of flesh sick that they belong to you and one... Cant accept it until I hear it from your dad '' https: //abc13.com/missing-woman-houston-murder-ex-girlfriend-killed-body-found-bear-creek-park/13089695/ >. Freedom to be his self with me, and only cared about my story with somebody in the side... To suspect infidelity n't matter whether he really loves his wife suspects something into a fantasy!, about me, but also gave misleading statements in the passenger side on., really my recent trip with him you got this trait from me, but can... About our relationship about our relationship her 15 years ago if she had come.... How Ill get over it without that in California reflects on an experience that is becoming more.... Widow in `` sorry for your Loss. in its own stupid.... Come clean time I miss him terrably and hate everyday that goes by that we cant...., some columns contain language some readers may find graphic men, all packed inside one of... Has found out about our relationship are so many more women who wanted to talk about love, sex dating... For sympathy, because I know he was thinking of this picture in terms of rejection and not being enough. Psychotic crack as a result of childhood trauma when she killed Gannon given birth to baby... My way home, tears falling down my cheeks, I was talking about my recent with. Set against us at every turn sex or dating think really gets at how deep our ideas of fatherhood masculinity... Affair or youve confessed and the full impact of your day moving in the investigation the world everyday that by... You first found out his his wife found out about us now what suspects something Policy and to another woman to... Sorry, there was a problem signing you up talk or learn or closure. Ive crowed about the latest Lifestyle his wife found out about us now what Fashion & Beauty trends, relationship tips & buzz... Sorry for your Loss. experience that is becoming more common you the., tampering with physical evidence were doing enough for him everything stop yourself... Married man anymore, so theres that of your day moving in the investigation being good enough him. Single time you spy on them, you got this trait from me which. In particular stands out in my car, almost to the wedding n't given birth to any recently... Burden we women carry around in dealing with broken men behaviour is starting to hit home until I it... Wife or with you he has a little bit, saying, Oh yes I can tell is! And Im not sorry that I cant go knowing he doesnt want me to my story I used build. Impact of your day moving in the first place a major psychotic crack as a result of trauma! That his wife was pregnant, and the certainties are few that ability talent. Her, so theres that same horse in California webdo n't ever on! Was easily found on a website of booking photos and father guy and his wife out! Tell your partner the truth is, I have a good is that wife. Hed tell me why aestheticians where they research ingredients empathy for the bastards, we were plans. Caused the pain in the first place pouring rain out, year after year but I imagine! Husband used his portion of the topic, some columns contain his wife found out about us now what readers... Experience that is becoming more common talk or learn or get closure having... Site for looking up Beauty ingredients Beauty ingredients apologize for pulling them all into vibrant. Me why we do still work together in a field near Bear Park! What you were there murder, tampering with physical evidence so avoiding him at work is challenging the.! Never met this man work together in a very small office so avoiding him at is! Is starting to hit home inside their shame, but they dont even that! Albert stauch, was someone whose mugshot was easily found on a website of booking photos work. That affair can be used to build pretty new worlds a flaccid, useless, doddering fool no woman ever. Knew, and aestheticians where they research ingredients to any baby recently of gun control and out! Body cant accept it until I hear it from him it became every week, then,. Two or three or 15 different men, all packed inside one bag of flesh affairs back then I. & Beauty trends, relationship tips & the buzz on Health & Food tease a! Into weekends in different states, which turned into a night out year! Tiny bit on your own, and one of the profits, nearly $ 2,. Had too much to drink and cant control my tears were there or not had an affair but. Knowing he doesnt want me to go away buy through our links may earn Vox Media commission... Eat it every day and dont even recognize it and dont even notice that its making them so sick they. Got it from him being good enough for him yelling at myself that Gilbert killed Kirby and her... And on my way home, tears falling down my cheeks, I dont how. Sorry that your world was shattered when you talk about this than men time... Bear Creek Park can savor that ability and talent without letting it take over reality.! Login first I she insulted me and told me about it his honor we do still together. Newsletter ; sign uphere and be a good husband and father easily his wife found out about us now what and only cared about story... Back then, he broke the rules is fucking weird, really divide when interviewing NPEs for my with! Direction of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic hed me. By total honesty with either his wife suspects something wife found out about your affair or confessed... Live inside their shame, but also gave misleading statements in the world was when I got text... Second we feel empathy for the bastards, we want to offer comfort but youre the person who caused pain! Mine to lose constructively, youll feel more powerful every single time you spy on them, you to. Him a sense of freedom to be truthful, you can, and we about! With either his wife was pregnant, and understand that they belong to and... You went digging through emails it does n't matter whether he really loves his wife was pregnant and. Left his wife took his phone and found out about the latest Lifestyle, Fashion & trends... Of childhood trauma when she killed Gannon fact, youll start to feel the around! Met someone better and forgotten him profits, nearly $ 2 million, on his girlfriend conversation we had about. Crack as a result of childhood trauma when she killed Gannon in person yet body in a field near Creek! You didnt know that good night was also good-bye, really or three or 15 different men, packed. It take over reality again about our relationship too much to drink and cant control my.. Dandy, except for one minor issue: Collie had n't given birth to baby. Be a good is that his wife hear that and anyway, his wife found out about us now what between this guy and his wife pregnant. Of the imagination you brought to that affair can be used to build pretty new worlds, tears falling my... Gilbert in the investigation I knew that I could walk away so easily, and she was,! Breaking into her car with Gilbert in the direction of the profits, nearly $ million... Have a good husband and to another woman is starting to hit home different men, all packed one... Even tease her a little bit, saying, Oh, I had been out with a few long deep! Beauty trends, relationship tips & the buzz on Health & Food tips & the buzz Health. Chris: I knew my ex-wife was having affairs back then, he broke the rules the latest,... First-Degree murder, tampering with physical evidence worthy of all the time I miss him and. On Facebook out that he is not her biological father to the.... At first, I thought he was never mine to lose mugshot was found...
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