answers from Chicago on October 30, 2008. Do you really want a boyfriend who drinks heavily till he passes out? After a couple months of dating I learned her guy friend was gay. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. So my boyfriend is becoming much more distant as of late. What scares me is my jealousy. Anyway what are your thoughts on the above situation? I've lived in my little city since I was a teenager and I run into people EVERYwhere, so when I meet a friend I prefer a private location where I am better able to focus on them and our conversation. J. my personal opinionto each his own. Now I don't know how he would feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel. I did the club scene in college, but that kinda got out of my system too. You met him at a bar. He eventually earned my trust back and went to a bar with his friend. Even I have had experience with these and I can tell you how inappropriate it is to not hear from your boyfriend. We J. like to know where the other one is, more for safety than out of paranoia or concerns of cheating. So try not to take it personally and give him the space he needs. But even if I could go out it wouldn't be to a bar. Holy crap youre a dick. I don't want to ask for his attention. As I mentioned above, he may just need some time to himself. I've seen a lot of posts on here recently about whether its ok for a married or committed person to go to lunch/bar with single person of the opposite sex (or same gender depending on preference) and it had M. wondering if you guys/girls ever go to a bar or an establishment where other singles are and talk to new people? Traveling for work aside, if your partner tries to leave you behind, that's probably not a great sign. But don't be anxious, you are good enough and I'm sure he loves you like you love him. I know that no matter who my husband meets, talks to, get hit on by, that he is devoted to M. and my kids and he feels the same way about M.. remerz Don't Say Bad Things. My friends are like family to M. and I get so much warmth and strength from them. You may develop an issue with it. So here is how four women describe their experiences when a man went down on them. You were. Third is that you seem to be insecure deep down about your bf's party animal past and don't trust him. Here's the thing he knows you are uncomfortable with it, doesn't push it with you, and you still gave him the green light. I prefer to go out with himbut we both believe that it's important to do things on our own too. Don't make the same mistake I did. 1. Really though, putting him in a container is not going to keep him faithful. (You won't be happy if your wife is gone every night.) Nothing controlling about it. Just like the celebs when they have to kiss in movies, its nothing real, they still truly love their husbands/wives. 05-17-2012, 01:53 PM steve1282 : Location: Dallas. When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. He had a boyfriend, and as far as I knew, he was just being nice. *Could* I go to a bar w/out my spouse? Rizzoli & Isles is an American crime drama series based on the novels by Tess Gerritsen, starring Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander as the respective title characters. Guy didnt wish me happy birthday am I wrong to be upset? He even texts me when he is out, and calls or texts when he gets home. aweeeeeeee you're bf sounds amazing ! Well, people who babysit seem to be scarce where we live so yes we go out to bars with friends and not each other. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. He is very trusthworthy and honest, etc. SO to your question. You still can go out. "Whereas happy, committed couples tend to spend more time with couple friends and doing things together. Suggest your wife that she can have time for herself too. try it, be honest, truthful, and if its meant to be, its meant to be. You know, if you're meeting up with friends at a bar and you get there early. During a casual dinner with three other couples, the guys repeatedly implored my boyfriend to go with them to a strip club. "It likely means that they don't want you in family photos and/or on their family's mind. Yes, if you've provided all the details. Some people are brutaly honest and would never cheat. I never told her it was on my mind but she knew that my first relationship went sour because if infidelity. But when it seems to be an all night thing and it's an always and never, those are telling signs that something isn't normal. But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying I trust him, too. My problem is I'm very, very jealous when my husband goes out without me. It was tough for the first several months because of fear she might cheat like my 1st gf. So no - when we were dating I did go out dancing quite a bit with my girlfriends - and of course we were hit on - but I never went home with anyone or to anyone other than my hubs. Whether they're truly checked out and just can't be bothered to end things or there's something else going on, you're likely going to have to talk about it together in order to move forward. Here^s what I got from what I read: 1. Anyway, to each his own regarding going out to a bar with or without our SO. Yes I go out with out my husband.. if Im talking to anyone and they try to pick M. up using thier cheesy lines I let them know right away Im married. So..he and I need to discuss all this, and if he's not willing to change, I may have to walk. I know what it's like to love someone but know they aren't good for you. that is the last message i want to send. "met" virtually.). I LOVE to dance!! I'm generally surprised by how many people are against interactions with the gender you're attracted to. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. They got married a year later. Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. Everyone on this site is so over dramatic! I cook for my friends (plural). i talked to him today about it, and he just apologized and said that its he knows he;s ***** up. The Best Gifts for Men in 2023 - Up to 30 different gift ideas for your man! If there are variables such as having a partner do you over while you stayed at home or have done someone over yourself, it is very understandable to have this trust issue and coming to terms with allowing it will take some time. I guess I J. can't really imagine being in a relationship with someone that I didn't trust enough to be "allowed" to hang out with the opposite sex. Big difference. We know where the lines are where each of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it. He has the right to have a life, gosh. Do the same to him hun. Started Friday at 03:52 AM, By Some people trust because they are good people and lack experience and it's just the right thing to do. Be In Touch with Him. You know the one that is filled with mostly guys, laid back and where everyone knows everyone and if you don't you will by the time you walk out and people cheer when you walk in the door? #2 The desperado. A few times a year I'll go out dancing with my friends (my husband despises dancing) and once in a blue moon I'll meet someone in a bar to chat. To us, our family is our priority and they come first. However if he was taking his single female intern out J. the two of them for drinksI would have a problem with thatif they go to lunch I really don't mind because it is usually because they are far away from the office on a site visit and go get something to eat. Emotional or physical affairs are not okay in my book. So would this be not allowed in your relationship? That means, he wants to reassure you that a) he didn't go home with some bar floozy and b) he got home safely. I just know in my heart, I cannot be in another situation like I was with my ex, ever again. My husband occasionally goes out with friends for a round of golf and then to a bar afterwards, I've never really given it much thought but I also trust him and am not worried. In recent years, there has been a growing need for safer opioid alternatives. Im sorry for saying all this, its not that i dont trust you its just i'd prefer you to be honest with me and tell me the truth rather than putting up with everything, it would make it easier for the both of us and our relationship! They threaten to break up with you all the time. Usually guys will start going to the bar alone if they are starting to build up the guts to cheat. But most the time we are notbothered or left alone after we tell them we are married. As for what anyone else thought, it was irrelevant. Even in a long distance relationship, especially, in a long distance relationship, there has to be respect for trust to continue. "Breaking up evokes a lot of really strong emotions in people," Dr. Freitag explains. Also, there can be some exceptions and ultimately, you and your partner probably know your relationship best, so just because they've done one of these things before doesn't necessarily mean that they're done with you or have completely checked out. My husband (these days) wants M. to be happy and encourages M. to get time out doing things I love. he possibly has a minor drinking problem My ex was like that and it was that he wanted to impress other people, couldn't care less how we felt that made him never being home okay. Also, you've officially met a women who has no attraction whatsoever to other women!! He would attend the lingerie shows there and take pictures with the girls who apparently knew him by 1st name. I think this can be a real issue for quite a few people and can be very problematic adjusting or coming to grips with, even though there is no reason not to trust. what do I do? You still can have friends. You sill have a life and are not a Siamese twin with your spouse. Am I crazy for being upset? 2. Both myself and my husband don't drink. Hi dan,my girlfriend and I are together for 2 years now,and its the 3rd time that she has been to the club without me,she even says that she doesn't want any commitments now,where as I do,During these 2 years we haven't been to a club together,and I don't know what's going on behind my back,but she goes with her elder girl cousins to . I envy those who can go out. Most importantly, he calls you when he gets home. We are individuals sharing the same goals in relationship. He didn't let me know anything. I'm personally not attracted to women. Did you know that at least 4000 to 5000 of my posts were done before the thumbs up even came in. To an insecure girlfriend, she might assume guys' nights consist of heading to the strip club, then going to a seedy rub-and-tug afterward. To M. it seems like it's J. some women who are attracted to women, not the majority. If I should meet another man, I see no reason not to remain friends with this man. But, to each his own! I feel neglected and I don't think I should be treated like this. But that's J. M.! :). and i understand exactly what youre saying but when you do talk to him you have to have to bring up his drinking and your concern of him not calling. Even then hes moody and doesnt pay me much attention. Started February 23, By Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. We recently got married and he got divorced two years and a half ago. Paul: "Start with going to a movie by yourself or going out to dinner by yourself. It's totally not like that. with this lady jumping back at my right back getting a keen excellent piggy straight back travel and you may biting my personal ear canal whenever i carry the back again to the latest pub. Course I'm the wife who has encouraged her husband to go to the strip club with his friends for bachelor parties he knows he can get his appetite anywhere as long as he eats at home :) and I definitely reap the benefits of those rare sojourns into gyrating nekid females :). And I suppose it would depend on that. I arrived alone and I left alone. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. You likely question yourself asking whether it's something about you . Its not in my personality to go to a bar alone.but I have gone out to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL. If your boyfriend is going out without you, it doesn't necessarily mean he's trying to end things. "And if . Men or women. He texts you while he's out with the boys? I trust him to make choices that won't betray my needs and wishes (this wasn't always true). xx. 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What I got from what I read: 1 you how inappropriate it to...