A extremely stressful time in med school. Never thought Id walk from her, she was so different . Answer (1 of 35): Really? He asked about the equipment and we definately didnt talk about anything personal. I find myself wondering if he learned anything from this, or wondering if he misses me sometimes. Then when she feels like it, she unblocks me. Told him finally that I want to move on and hearing from him was preventing that and causing me pain. How difficult this would be for you. We victims should stick together and not pit males against females. This lady told me that this person who was a past love (its him by all descriptions), although it may seem that his circumstance has changed externally, internally, emotionally and mentally, nothing has changed. All it took was silence. Heartbreaking isnt it? Look at his texts. Im worried he wants revenge. Do they send clues or try to spy to see if you are still alive? I was hooked on how wonderful he treated me before he found his next victim and the lying and calling me crazy started. In many cases, they are even harder to get over. However, he was always emotionally putting me down, calling me stupid or crazy, or that my way of thinking was crazy. We broke up 9 months ago and it has taken this long to get him out of my system to the point where I can have a normal life. Oh lets not forget he is currently following me on Snapchat but doesnt look at my snaps. This male is 63 years old and no end of this obsession in sight. You can find street hookers with better hearts than your most recent ex. Funny, sexy, passionate to the point where I believed shed taught me what sex was. A few reasons why people want the narcissist to hoover. I feel extremely grateful. The plain people are t so perfect my heart aches for what I know and Im so grateful for my station in life and enjoy that out here in my English world, I have means to escape if I need to. lol Not as easy as i first thought. This was via email. Best of luck to you. This fallout is something I will deal with on a daily basis for the rest of my life and theirs and it breaks my heart. He is so predictable. In any case, I am going to pursue getting my money back through small claims. Anon, my comments were taken way out of context. However, they will use these weaknesses against you if they need to. He waited two months. I remain perpetually on the fence about him! Yes I believe that a Narcissist can be beat at their own game. Before you know it, you have forgiven their faults, had babies by them and years have gon by and now you wish you would have left sooner. But i wont bite the apple again. At times the situation appears to so bizarre that it does not seem real. Does this sound like N behavior? More often then not, Narcissists are described by their partners as the "perfect man/woman.". Thank you for this. Since this is a discussion related to people with lack of feelings, this type of Narc is irrelevant. Only a tiny moment of happiness getting his egosuply. FAST and PRAY That gets Gods eyes on you. He was cool and calm and thought he was in control until I declined his offer with certainty. I told him he had to go. My narc has ignored me for 9 months until last week when he approached me about our home. I know if he hadnt come along I would have gone back for more. I just been able to come out of my house in months and hes playing mind games while I take the high road. My son and I are returning to home town due to many factors. He is seeing if I would be an option again because thats what a parasite like he is does to women. You have to find a way to get your own closure. A narcissist will always return to an ex-lover to ensure that his narcissistic supply still pines for him and that she never moves on from the p You cant control the narcissist or know what he or she is thinking. Then i wrote angree letters and did not hear from him till now. They often cannot function in even simple, daily tasks. He is tired of my games, so I said enough with the bs Im worth more then this and I want more then this, I felt stuck and thats no way to live. They may initiate contact again with that person, almost as if no time has passed. The plan is to keep you within reach. I was very tough with him in order to make him understand that he shouldnt be messing with my head or heart. The more constituted him being deported!! There are only a few people that I really want and need in my life. I can tell you that for the three months that she pursued me, I was not always at her beckon call. Thanks everyone, and keep fighting the good fight! Thank you for this post. I am so happy to find this site. For example, perhaps they really arent interacting with a particular ex at a particular time. They are a threat to are well being and we have to keep them away from us although we still love them in their brokenness. She thought I would fit the role of her bff, a one way friendship to her of course. It worked! How do you get someone who keeps calling your number while you NEVER answer it to leave you alone? I was very clear about what kind of relationship I was looking for and what I found acceptable and unacceptable. This is the first fall of many years i am alone now. In other words, the new partner better looks on point at all times or its going to be a problem. I was the one who had changed. Just because you are no longer married doesn't mean that life after divorce from a narcissist is going to be total freedom. I need to regain myself esteem, stop thinking everything i do is for her, never good enough ext. I would be willing to bet anything that that girl hes talking to, will soon be me. Daily posts to her family and the friends id still never met on how wonderful he was. Wishing you all the best. Narc husband says, "no offence, but you're not the first to think of this". They whip themselves into a frenzy because they need your supply to maintain their false image. He wanted just me etc. He did not tekst me. However, this is where I am and I accept that I arrived here on my own two feet. The narcissist manufactures emotions that serve our own interests and slowly teach us to ignore our own needs. I pray for my healing from my husbands death and the death of the demon named quan . But Im just taking it one day at a time, but you are right I will survive I do know that. 3. When I looked at the record of text messages by the thousands I was amazed he could keep them all separated. i dont know how you maintain limited contact with him. I feel i need him. But clearly, something in me allowed this man to keep doing some of the things he did, long after my spirit was telling me to run like hell. Who does that? Good Luck. But we often continue eating it, anyway. Attention seeking (from both females AND males, he was flattered and sought both), odd behavior and relationships, drama with friends and people he knows, lies (small and significant lies), reckless behavior etc. Once a strong vivacious Women, now stricken-ed with various illness after being pressed under the thumb for so longI didnt figure it out until he had already stolen so much. And is now in the begin fase of that other one both very happy. Not many people know what Narcissists are. I am out over 5 years and the first few years post break up were torture. Replies appreciated! Thank You for posting this narcisistic love letter I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy for the abuse myself. Theyre the ones who do the dumping. I did..and regretted it of course. After again a night no sleep but now really heavy anxiety. Let your integrity speak for itself! Want to know more? In fact, we end up feeling much worse. But the higher i fly the deeper and harder i fall. I had a difficult time. Reading Suggestion: How to make a Narcissist Miserable? Thankfully my friends noticed her awkward behavior and helped me put the puzzle together. So all we have to do now is learn to Love Ourselves as much as we Loved them without them. Maybe you can meet a nice, pure girl in church. Just within the last month Ive been able to come out of my house riding my bike taking walks and etc. I dont answer. I have an IQ of 150, have never done drugs in my life (not even pot) and do not have any mental disorders. Hell find someone else once he gets bored like they always do. Thank you for your supportive kind words. That comment really rubs me the wrong way. I know i should not do that. It can be an opening for the narcissist to hoover. I listen I watch but I just see his weakness and, regardless of this, his attempt to appear respectable. Dont settle for scraps when there are people out there who love you just the way you are and want to be with you through good and bad. But its only temporary because they soon return to start the cycle all over again. He proves his disorder with most of what he tells me. My beautiful Dad went before her and she was changing Wills the day he died, even changed his whilst he was alive and got away with it! I AM A BASKET CASE TODAY ITS BEEN 2 YRS N I STILL THINK ABOUT HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY WONDERING WHY I WASNT ENOUGH. The long talks we had and the support he gave me even though he did that to make himself feel good, really helped me at a time when I was at my lowest. Another thing to note is that while he didnt acknowledge the negative things I pointed about his character, I snooped and noticed that he has made some changes in his online life. Taking her money spendingit on me . And he was abused my his father as a child, so I feel sorry for him. You spend your time with a Narc analyzing, investigating and trying to fix them. This is Not about YOU & I I mean thousands of dollars. [] The REAL Reason the Narcissist Comes Back After No Contact. I have a hard head and have struggled for years. Best of luck in your recovery and with maintaining No Contact. It has been five months since I last spoke with her, four months since I received a text, and three months since she blocked me from facebook. He called back repeatedly, sent 17 emails in a 12 hour period. Someone took away his lollipop and there is hell to pay. Lol I love your description of the jealousy with the overweight woman who glares at you!????? His friends still works their, so he could have asked them to call. Finally Ive found something I cant sleep I cant eat. She is right! They apparently return to any relationship if they think there is something to gain from it. So i tekst hey everything ok? Too weak I hqd creditcards with his name. Now, he will have to pay the cable & internet companies for the cost of the boxes if he dont return them and Im not going to keep them BUT Im not jumping just cause he graces me with his texts and calls and Im not responding just cause he thinks i should. You can make that decision according to how your breakup happened and how you feel during this process. That brokenness that we originally recognized is still there and it is just not fixable by mankind. Is it even okay if I say that? She soon tired of his parasitic ways and attitude and I told him no way to him moving back in with me. I was surprised to learn these things about myself because I always thought that I had a healthy love for myself. If there is fate, it has taught me to check my own energy and try to be as positive, or at least neutral, as I can in social situations. But well, you know, we talk to people as we talk to ourselves. This seems to be true no matter what has happened before. Even though its been 9 months, the fact that you reached out to him a week ago probably makes him think you still have hopes of reconciliation, so its quite possible that he could pop back onto the scene at some point in the future by virtue of your still trying to make contact after so long. Him and I have a son who will be three tomorrow. In some ways yes and it some ways no. In the relation we were Always together. Its normal if youve been in a relationship with a narcissist or a psychopath to try to read the signs and figure out how to know if a narcissist is finished with you. I think about you constantly and not in an obsessive way but in ways such as I wonder what would think of this? or I wish she could see this. or simply I need her right now. Need. sent me a love song via email. As soon as you know what they are, they disappear because they know you cant be duped any longer by him. They have gained absolutely nothing by doing this to us They are so patient like a wild animal waiting to strike. -Responding positively to their partners mirroring but unlike nightmares this one you cant wake from !!.. and i fell in to his loving show and words.. then he dumped me again because he is so confused. He cant dupe me anymore so he leaves me alone and fears me now. Domestic violence unit contacted me the next day and said that they believed me and told me to get an emergency protection order and he feels my ex is more passive aggressive and gets off on reactions, that he would manipulate from the outside. Your ex WILL contact you again. The Narcissist will make their partner feel incredible, and have answers to seemingly everything. It is 5 chapters but very short. The abuse, mind games, control stopped and my life went on. But in the end, I was just used as a reference so she could copy, and a mirror so she could see herself. I have nothing to offer. He knows i should drifting on pink clouds when he contacts me. But don't get me wrong. Little did I know his ex was a codependent strung along for nearly a decade. Watch out. He texts me last night angry and drunk (super attractive that is lol) and I responded one time, quite rudely, and then blocked the bastards number and went to sleep. I love the way I feel about me when you are with me. I ran over and tapped on the window and was abruptly told to go away and the guy in the drivers seat was her brother. If you observe that he is getting physically violent with you, contact the police. I am seeing thats it really isnt me. See, before he went to my landladys house, he didnt really know I was purposely in no contact mode. That quote is for normal people, not narcissists. You have to ask yourself some tough questions, like what about you attracted her and why you allowed yourself to remain in the relationship for as long as you did. Leave him to his misery. But he finds out soon. Last year, an ex-colleague started to woo me. I decided I had enough, and went and filed for a restraining order for dating violence. I think he keeps me going on daily basis but pain is enormous. Rod man interesting on your borderline comment. The cycle begins again. After first break up there was No Contact for a year and a half and when I finally forgot all of the things that occurred and I was quickly back in a whirlwind romance; only to move back into the list above. Certainly dont miss the drama. I expressed my discomfort, and he got very upset and said I was being crazy, she was his friend. I send an angry mail he plays that other person also. Not many, just a few. He sms me at sunday `hope you had a nice weekend` Then he called me and said he misses me and is confused about everything. Sometimes I feel really light when I remember I am free from all the bullshit. What are you doing in the self-care area? . I pray for your and my quick healing-peace and love to you? So, Im fairly certain hes done with me. They it seems are not able to Love as we know it, they have no connection to feelings or people, they are empty vessels, they are never happy, they take, never give unless they want something. Youre not that smartbut great at being a bully. I caught him once again lying about a girl and still does. The list goes on. Others might disagree with me but if you act all nice with him you are actually showing them to take his abuse and forgive when no forgiveness was asked for nor any repentance shown. He is very prideful too so I thought I would not hear from him either. However, I cant and wont tolerate slanderous accusations, blaming and unnecessary and constant fault finding/criticism. Not once did he call me to see if I was ok I hate tslkin about this IT MAKES ME SOOOO SAD BUT I HAVE TO ASKWHAT IS THE COMPULSION W DOIN BACK NOT BEIN ABLE TO PUT HIM DOWN M LEAVE HIM THERE? He also stated that if i were to bring it up again he would divorce me, because of how low I made him feel was the worst pain he has ever felt. He will unleash every weapon in his manipulative arsenal. Omg, we must be the same person because Im mean, Im so mean to him, I treat him like a dog, and I also needed to grow up, this is real life ..not a game he tells me. These weaknesses against you if they need to Narcissists are described by their partners as the & quot ; man/woman.... Relationship I was not always at her beckon call no contact then I wrote angree letters and did hear... 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